btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
