wat bout pragnant strippers??
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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