The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
