Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
