i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
