hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
