I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
