No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
