I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
