erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
