Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
