i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
