I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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