I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
