We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Ketchup is God's man juice
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
