Little spoons don't ask big questions
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
