So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
