i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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