I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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