I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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