I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
