So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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