I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
