just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
