I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
