ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dignity is for republicans.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
