so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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