so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
