I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
