before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It's shark week go big or go home
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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