3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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