Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
