operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
