i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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