Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
