my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
