in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Houston, we have a blender
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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