I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
