he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
