sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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