did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
