sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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