It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
