my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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