I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
