If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You can't just leave with hair like that
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
