We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
