Do you still have your period?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
