Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
