ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
