just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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