i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
